Christmas 2013

Photos - December 2013

Hello, my little speckled!

Wyatt's friend Ava ran up to Wyatt, "tickled" his face, and said to him:
"Hello, my little speckled!"
I guess she likes his freckles. LOL


Wyatt: "I'm glad I don't have an elf, because if I woke up and saw an elf on my shelf, I would scream!"
Me: "Hahahah... well, it isn't like an elf could hurt you though."
Wyatt: ((thinking)) "Yeah. He could watch you sleep, and when you open your mouth in your sleep, he could jump down your throat and pull out your lungs."
Me:  (((EEK)))

Later:So this morning, I go into his room to wake him up for school. He opens his eyes and, without moving the rest of his head/body, starts moving his eyes all around. I asked "What are you doing?!" and he says "Looking for an elf." I said "I thought you didn't want an elf; that it would make you scream." He said "I changed my mind." LOL

Also - someone told him that you can't touch the elf because it makes the elf lose all its magic (not sure if this is "official" Elf on a Shelf legend or just something some parent in his class made up.) Anyway, after he said he wanted one, he whined and said "I really want to touch it though!!!!!!"


Wyatt: "What day is Christmas?"
Me: "December 25th."
Wyatt: "No, is it on Monday, Tuesday...?"
Me: "It's on a Wednesday."
Wyatt, whining and thrashing around: "Awwwwwwww!!! That means I won't have much time to play with my toys because I have to go to school!!!!!!"
Me: "Wyatt, I have some good news for you..."



Wyatt: "Hey, Mom. Whatcha watching?"
Me: "Dr. Oz."
Wyatt, staring at the TV: "Oh."
(long pause)
Wyatt: "Is he a wizard?"


Wyatt, after I mis-heard a couple of things: "Mommy, you sure are having a lot of 'maginations."


Wyatt: "Mom, there's something weird."
Me: "What's weird?"
Wyatt: "Every time I see Santa, he looks...different."
Me: "That IS weird. Why do you think that is?"
Wyatt: "I just think I am not remembering right."




Wyatt: "I want to play footer."
Me: "What?"
Wyatt: "Footer. It's like soccer, but we don't have socks on, so it's just footer."
LOL


Me: "Are you waiting for cotton candy? I thought you didn't like it."
Wyatt: "I don't. ..I'm getting it for you."
Awwwwwww. ♡
 

Photos - November 2013

He lost his first "official" tooth on November 6.


Wyatt drawing a picture of a boy crying because he doesn't want to go to bed:




Making Thanksgiving cookies

Photos - Halloween and more

Floating along at swim lessons:



Annual rock photo:



Wyatt's school picture, 1st grade:



Scary Wyatt!!



He won "Scariest Costume" at his friend Angel's party:



Stratego!

Some photos

Waiting to go rafting:



To level five in swim lessons:



Six years old:

The hummingbird

Yesterday in Flagstaff, a hummingbird, which had apparently been trapped in our garage, fell onto the garage floor.

I picked him up and carried him over to the porch swing. He seemed OK, but very lethargic, and had his eyes closed.

We got some sugar water for him, and tried to get him to eat.

Wyatt was next to me, and kept holding him and petting him. Wyatt said "I know he is going to die." :(

So we held him for 15 minutes or so. I offered the water again, and - the hummingbird actually put his tongue out! He drank once... twice... then fell over in my hand, instantly dead.

The only thing I can figure is that he used the very last bit of his energy to try to drink, and that was it for him.

I was sad. Wyatt was sad.

Doug got a shovel and buried the hummingbird.

I thought that was the end of it until I saw Wyatt standing by the hummingbird's grave, looking down with tears streaming down his face. I ran over to him and rubbed his back. He said "I am so sad about the hummingbird!" I said "Me too" and by now, I was crying too, because it hurt me so much to see Wyatt crying.

He said "I want to go upstairs and play Age of Empires."

"Ok," I said, and I walked up with him.

But instead of going to the computer, he walked over to the big chair, sat down and pulled the blanket over his body, and started crying again.

I sat behind him in the chair, and put my arm around him. I asked him if it was okay if I sat with him, or if he just wanted to be alone. He said "It's okay."

So we sat like that for a few minutes. I told him if he had questions, he could ask me.

He said "Mommy, I don't want the ants to eat him."

"Would you feel better if we put him into a little ziplock baggie so he will be safe?"

Wyatt nodded emphatically.

So I got a baggie and we walked back downstairs. Doug got the shovel again and dug up the grave. I took the hummingbird's tiny body, brushed the dirt off it, and put it gently into the baggie. Then we re-buried him. Grandma got a painted stone and put it on the grave as a marker.

I asked Wyatt if he felt better, and he said yes.

But he kept crying about the hummingbird on and off during the day. I explained that everything dies, and that the hummingbird died being loved and cared for instead of being eaten or shot, and he was lucky to die that way. I said it was okay to be sad about it, and told Wyatt how much I had wished the hummingbird had flown away.

Wyatt said "I knew he was going to die." I asked how. He said "I just knew it." I told him that it could have gone either way.  I told him that it is very important to hold onto hope, and to always hope the best is going to happen instead of expecting bad things to happen.

Wyatt didn't want me to leave him last night, so I brought him into our bedroom. He was holding my arm so tight, and I know he is processing death, so I suspect there are more questions coming, including the worst questions - the ones I want to shield him from but need to prepare him for.

What's strange is we have lost several pets in Wyatt's life. But I guess this was the first time he actually watched something die, so it is more real to him than a pet that just leaves to the doctor and never comes back home.

I feel so badly for Wyatt, and hope I can keep finding the right words to help him process death.

Quack!

Last night at the pool...
Me: "This pool kinda stinks today."
Wyatt: "Yeah... it smells yike a praying mantis."
??????????

Poor little Wyatt was in the sun all day and has a headache. He kept getting up and crying. The last time, I asked if he wanted me to lie down with him for a little bit, so he cuddled up to me and started falling asleep. I asked him "Are you feeling better?" and he nodded. I asked him "You just needed a little Mama love?" and he nodded again. Then he started snoring.  

Me (reading a book)
: "Constellations are when stars make pictures. Like this one is the Big Dipper, because it looks like a spoon, a dipper."
Wyatt: "I weally yike that name... Big Dipper. I yike the 'Dipper' part wuh-cause it sounds soft. Diiiiipppperrrrrrr."  

Wyatt wanted a list of reasons someone could go to jail. So I started off with murder, assault (he said "Oh I know someone who is assault. Me and Aidan!" I laughed..."No, you guys are just play-fighting. That's not assault."), kidnapping, robbery, embezzlement, drugs... and I explained what each one was.
Then I said "Oh and drinking and driving. People drink, then they don't drive very well, and they end up getting into wrecks and killing people."
Wyatt pondered for a moment, and responded... "Why don't they just get a cup holder?" 

Me, swinging Wyatt around: "I just want to make sure you always feel safe and loved." (Accidentally bump his head on the wall)
Wyatt: "Yeah... safe and yoved and head-bonked."
LOL
 




Me, looking in the mirror: "Yikes. I don't look so great today."
Wyatt: "I fink you yook...perfect. You yook yike a sweet mommy."
Me: "Awwww, thank you. I think I look tired."
Wyatt (inspecting me more closely) "Actually, you yook yike one of those ducks with the white things on their head, because you have some funky hair."
LOL... thank you, my son.   
  

Kindergarten graduation

"Her Daddy couldn't be here for kindergarten graduation because he was killed 3 days ago in the line of duty. So her Phoenix Police family showed up and lined the walkway, cheering on Tatum Raetz, who managed to smile... even for a little."

This was at Wyatt's school, and was beautiful and touching. 













And then of course there was the reason I was there...


One of the officers let Wyatt wear his hat:

Photos - April / May 2013

I fink you counted to 50 instead of 60

Me: "Wyatt, you can play for 10 more minutes then it's bedtime."
(ten minutes later): "OK, that was 10 minutes. Let's go."
Wyatt: "That was NOT 10 minutes. I fink you counted to 50 instead of 60."

Wyatt: "I'm hungry."
Me: "We are going to eat at Tommorrowland Terrace."
Wyatt: "WHAT?!?? We aren't eating until TOMORROW?!?!"

Had a character breakfast at Chef Mickey's. Wyatt got to hug and high-five Mickey, Pluto, Goofy, Minnie, and Donald! He was jumping-up-and-down excited. Photos to come. Best Wyattism... Pluto grabbed his hand with both paws and shook it, and Wyatt walked over and said "Yep, that was definitely a dog handshake." 

Had a crazy day at Animal Kingdom today (April 7). Rode the Himalayas yeti ride FOUR times... Wyatt loved it. Went on the safari, and did a few other rides there. Wyatt was really cute at the 3d movie. He kept trying to grab the bugs, and was surprised when a bug spat "acid" at him. He wanted to stop and watch an African band play, but he got really annoyed when I tried to dance. He said "Stop it. I am trying to listen to the music!" He very studiously watched the guys play and sing. I need to find concerts for us to go to! Then we came back and went swimming in the hotel pool and watched the Magic Kingdom fireworks show from our balcony. It was an A+ day. 

 

Mr. Yellow

Me: (reading Danny and the Dinosaur)
Wyatt: "Mommy, what is the dinosaur's name?"
Me: "I dunno. They just call him the dinosaur."
Wyatt: "I am going to name him... Mr. Yellow."


Our new thing...
Me: "Wyatt I love every freckle on your sweet little face!"
Wyatt: (((giggle!))) "Name them!"
Me: "Abe, Betty, Caden, Denise..." (keep going until I get to Z"
Wyatt: "Again!!!!"

He actually fell asleep tonight to me naming his freckles.  

Wyatt's picture of me and him walking in the rain with our umbrellas:

Wacky Hair Day

Play ball...

Wyatt picks up a deflated beach ball.
Me: "We can't play with that ball. It has a hole in it."
Wyatt: "Uh-huh... we can make hats."
?????

Wyatt throws a very heavy little ball at my back.
Me: "OWWWW"
Wyatt: "You yike it. It's a wassage." (massage)

Pancake head

Happy Valentine's Day

Mom can you git oluv the kelors

"Mom can you git oluv the kelors." Translation: Mom, can you get all of the characters? (Skylanders) .This is a note he wrote me in school today.

a fwower vawentine

"Mommy, I colored you a fwower vawentine."

I know somefing that is going to make you say 'SERIOUSLY??

Wyatt: "Mommy, I know somefing that is going to make you say 'SERIOUSLY???"

The story he told me was about a boy in his class who took a glass and broke it. Honestly it didn't make much sense, but I said "SERIOUSLY????" because I think I was supposed to. 

Cutie pie

Wyatt: (Rolling up in a blanket)
Me: "Awwwww... are you my little burrito?"
Wyatt: "NO! I'm your CUTIE-PIE!"

Me: ((kissing Wyatt's forehead repeatedly))
Wyatt: "No kisses! They smell too... chocolate-chippy!"

Rock wall

Wyatt on the rock wall at a birthday party

Big picture parenting

There was a post today on a group I belong to about a 3 year old who sticks her tongue out in defiance. The mom was asking us - WWYD? Someone mentioned washing her mouth out with soap. Someone else mentioned that it was cruel. I responded:

"I think it is cruel too. There's a difference between giving a natural consequence for bad behavior, and completely taking someone's personal power away and "punishing" them. I think parenting is preparing a child for adulthood, and nowhere in their real life will someone hold them down and put soap in their mouth (at least - I hope to raise a child who would never allow someone to do that!). But if they make poor choices, there WILL be consequences in their adult life. That's what I focus on teaching. And that's how I look at discipline - as TEACHING. Not as punishment. I know there are different parenting styles and they all can work in different ways. It just depends on what your desired outcome is in a "big picture" way."

And that got me thinking about what my REAL job is as a parent. Parents like to get down in the details, and argue amongst themselves. Spanking or not? Circumcision or not? Car seat diligence or laid back when-and-where judgment? Organic or McDonalds? And the fact is that no matter which way we go on all these issues, most of our children are going to make it to adulthood, and most of them will be functioning, mostly well-adjusted adults. So in the big picture, none of those choices really matter.

My son is five. Because he is five, I pretty much control his world. I decide who his friends are (or at least which ones he can see outside of school). I control what his hobbies are. I control what he eats, drinks, plays. I control bedtime and wake-up time. But a time will come in the not-too-distant future, when I will lose much of that control. It will slowly slip through my fingers until my child is finally an independent adult.

So... what is my desired outcome? What choices am I making today that will impact older childhood and his life as an adult? What kind of person do I want him to be? 

I want him to be self-sufficient. I want him to be confident in his abilities. I want him to feel empowered about making choices in his own life. I want him to CHOOSE his life, rather than just sit around and let things happen to him. 

So how can I help him get to that point before he flies away from the nest?

And the big picture answer is this: 

How I live my life is showing him how life should be lived. How I respond when someone hurts me teaches him how to respond when someone hurts him. The choices I make to be happy teaches him how to make choices to be happy. How I deal with emotions like anger and sadness and betrayal and disappointment will affect his future relationships and friendships and marriage and how HE parents my grandchildren.

It doesn't matter if I feed him organic food. Well - sure, these choices we make have an impact on their health and well-being. But the #1 key to his success as an adult is ME and how I live my own life.

The other key to "big picture" parenting is that in young childhood, we are building a foundation. As I said already, I control his life to a great degree. The things we deal with now are not a big deal in the grand scheme of things... tantrums, five more minutes for video games, I don't wanna go to bed, I don't wanna go to school. Sure, how we respond is a big deal, because it teaches THEM how to respond... but as long as you respond in a way that is true to yourself, it's not a big deal.

What is a big deal is the foundation. As the child gets older, he'll start dealing with adult issues. Friendships with difficult people. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Love. Career path. These things ARE a big deal. They are a very big deal. And while he may need me now to wash his sheets and teach him about nutrition, he will never need me more than he'll need me then. If I do not do my part building TRUST between us and making sure he knows I will always be there for him now, he will not feel comfortable coming to me then. He will build a wall between us, and he will make his choices for his life based on advice from other teenagers. Hopefully he will have a trusted teacher or someone who will guide him. I cannot take that chance. I must ensure that my son will be able to come to me. Will be able to talk to me. Will be able to listen to my advice and know that I have his best interests at heart.

I remember being a teenager. I remember rolling my eyes and putting on my headphones and slamming my door and being angry at my parents. I am not naive enough to believe I will never have to deal with that crap. But in a big picture aspect, I have to maximize the odds that my son will be able to talk to me when it is important.

So what does that mean now? It means I will never humiliate him. I will never strip him of his power. I will allow him to make choices whenever possible and will allow him to live with the consequences of his choices. I will be kind. I will be CALM. I will be loving. He will know that I am a safe place. A place without judgment or condemnation or hitting or anger or screaming.

And it means I will continue to work on myself. Being an imperfect person is part of being a person. I don't always do the right thing or be who I know I can be. But continuing to strive to be the best me I can is important. Because he is always watching and learning.

In the big picture, it's not about forcing him to bend to my will or forcing him to fit into my expectations. It's about ME fitting into my expectations. And hoping he will follow.

Super math student!