Wyattism

Wyatt: "Racer mp!"
Me: "What?"
Wyatt: "Racer mp!"
Me: "What?!?!?"
Wyatt: "Racer mp!"

Me: "I don't know what that means."

Wyatt: (pauses, giving me a serious stare) "I don't know what dat mean ee-er."


Ummm... you're the one who said it, dude!

Wyattisms

Wyatt is sitting on my lap playing with my earrings. He starts pulling on them, so I take them off.
Wyatt: "I want to hold dem."
Me: "Ok" (handing him the earrings)
He fiddles with them for about 15 seconds then hands them back with a scowl.
"These kinda dangerous."

LOL

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My mom was changing his diaper and he started...ummm... messing with his parts.
Grammy: "Wyatt, do you need to pee pee?" (she's trying to help get him using the potty)
Wyatt: "No."
Grammy: "Your little pee pee is sticking up. That usually means you need to pee."
Wyatt: (still messing with himself) "No. It just feel good."

EEEK!!!!

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Wyatt goes to the potty.
Grammy: "Wyatt, did you just pee pee in the potty?!!?!"
Wyatt: "Yes I did." (pause) "But don't scream."

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I have some fake cherries in a bowl on my kitchen table. Wyatt likes holding them while he eats, and also likes finding the ones he has bitten and that now have little bite marks on them.

So he hands me the cherry he's holding and says:

"Is dis the one with the birthmark?"

(Meaning BITE mark)

Then kept going. He put it up by my mouth and said:

"Here. Put your birthmark."

Parenting is a cycle

I was just thinking yesterday that parenting is a constant cycle of loss and renewal.

At each stage, you lose (and miss!) the person your child was, as you get to know the new person at the same time.

I still miss Wyatt in my belly. I miss him as a not-even-4-pound infant cuddling in my shirt. I miss him as a 6 month old, tumbling all over the place. I miss him as a one year old talking mostly in gestures. I miss him as a two-year old, snuggling into the crook of my arm.

Now he's three, and I love him more than ever. But can't help missing all the other versions of Wyatt I have held to this point.

And I assume it will continue on this way. And some of the Wyatts likely won't be as lovable as the current one. Will I be able to love and enjoy life with moody pre-teen Wyatt, or defiant teenager Wyatt?

It's difficult, this cycle. This constant process of losing and gaining. Sometimes I wish I could just click the pause button for a while.

Crystal

More cawwots

Wyatt was playing with the little light at the doctor's office yesterday (bad mommy! LOL) and pointed it into his ear. Then says:

"I fink there's somefing in dere."

(pauses)

"I fink it's cawwots."

(pauses)

"I did eat some."

LOL!!!!! I don't know what's with the carrot obsession.

Crystal

Cawwots

Wyatt was sitting in his high chair with a contemplative look on his face.

"What are you thinking about, honey?"

Wyatt pauses, then says:

"Cawwots."

"Carrots? You're thinking about carrots? What about them?"

He pauses again, trying to find his words.

"What do dey do?" (pauses again) "Do dey talk?"

So we had a little conversation about carrots. LOL.

Crystal

Wyatt's question for me this morning:

"Mommy! Why you wearing those goofy earrings?"

LOL

(BTW, the "goofy" earrings are just silver drop-style earrings. About as plain as you can get. So no idea why they are "goofy"?

Crystal

Wyatt stuff

Me: "I'm a chicken!!! BAWK! BAWK! BAWK!"
Wyatt: "I a duck! Quack! Quack! Quack!"
Me: (laughing)
Me: "I love you, duck."
Wyatt" "I yuv you, kicken."



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Me: "You're my little sweetheart."
Wyatt: "You my yittle sweet-heart, Mommy."

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Wyatt: "That twuck have a smoke-snack?" (smokestack-hahahah!)

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Wyatt: (grabbing my leg forcefully) "RAWWWWWRRR! I EVIL!!!!"

LOL

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Wyatt: "Where my gween goggles?"
Me: (??????????) "Your WHAT?"
Wyatt: "My gween goggles!" (grabs my face so I pay complete attention) "My GOGGLES!"
Me: (????????) "Ummmm. You don't have any goggles, honey."
Me: (pondering what we just bought that was green, hoping for a revelation) "OHHH! You mean your green FLIP FLOPS?"
Wyatt: "YES! Fwip fwops! Where my gween fwip fwops?"

I have no idea why flip-flops became GOGGLES in his head. LOL

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In the pool.
Wyatt: "Mommy! Say ya-ya-ya! Say ya-ya-ya!"
Me: (floating in my float) "Ok. (singing) La, la, la! La, la, la! So relaxing. So peaceful. Nobody spashing me... just floating in my float... la, la, la..."
Wyatt: (giggling like mad while scrambling out of the pool)
Wyatt JUMPS next to me, splashing me.
Me: "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"
Wyatt: "I spash you in da face, Mommy?"
Me: "Yes! You splashed me right in the face. That was a good one!"
Wyatt: "Yeh. Dat was a good one."
Wyatt: "Ok Mommy. Say ya-ya-ya..."



Crystal

Poop!

Well...

We went to Kohl's yesterday.

And Wyatt pooped a giant stinky poop on the end of the store as far from the restroom as possible.

So we started making our way over there.

And I feel a finger swipe across the front of my shirt over my belly.

I look down and Wyatt is grinning up at me with a huge proud grin on his face, and he says...

"I wipe poop on you!"

I look at my shirt and sure enough, there's a giant smear of light-colored poop on my black blouse.

Yep, he took a finger, shoved it down the back of his diaper, scooped up some dookie, and wiped it on me.

I screamed "WHAT!??!?!?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!"

and we ran to the bathroom.

This is the part of parenting you cannot prepare for.

Crystal

Letting go of hope

How do you do it? Let go of hope, that is?

AF started last night. She was 2 days late. I know that I can't get pregnant. Yet I still had that holding-my-breath feeling. I still planned on stopping by Dollar Tree today to pick up a few HPTs. (Oh how I love peeing on sticks!!!)

And so today, I feel slightly deflated.

I don't get it. How can I let logic win and just let the hope fly away?

I do believe that God is sovereign. He can do anything. Unblocking a tube is nothing to Him. It's so simple. But why would He? What makes me so worthy of another child? Not that I feel UNworthy, mind you, but what makes my miracle more critical to see to than my sister's friend who is dying of cancer, or a billion other hardships and desperate situations? Heck, my situation doesn't even qualify as desperate... it's just a quiet hope. A silent and constant prayer.

I am supposed to have surgery in August to remove adhesions. I am putting it off for now, but one of the questions the doctor asked is if I wanted a hysterectomy at the same time? My insides are REALLY messed up see, and the fewer surgeries I can subject myself to, the better... so better to get it all over with at once.

But I said no.

Not just no, but "NO!!!!" with a shocked look on my face and my arms around my abdomen.

Why?

What will I gain keeping my uterus? I doubt it will be used again. As a matter of fact, I kinda want it NOT to be used again... it is so dangerous for me to be pg in the first place.

And I am really happy with what I have. I love my son more than anything, and he is more than I ever could have wished for...

So why is it so hard to let go of that hope? And should I be praying for THAT (the ability to let go) instead of the constant prayer of "If it is Your will, God, please bring another baby to me." ??

Crystal