Parenting is a cycle

I was just thinking yesterday that parenting is a constant cycle of loss and renewal.

At each stage, you lose (and miss!) the person your child was, as you get to know the new person at the same time.

I still miss Wyatt in my belly. I miss him as a not-even-4-pound infant cuddling in my shirt. I miss him as a 6 month old, tumbling all over the place. I miss him as a one year old talking mostly in gestures. I miss him as a two-year old, snuggling into the crook of my arm.

Now he's three, and I love him more than ever. But can't help missing all the other versions of Wyatt I have held to this point.

And I assume it will continue on this way. And some of the Wyatts likely won't be as lovable as the current one. Will I be able to love and enjoy life with moody pre-teen Wyatt, or defiant teenager Wyatt?

It's difficult, this cycle. This constant process of losing and gaining. Sometimes I wish I could just click the pause button for a while.

Crystal