Sitting upright

I am at the little meal table at DH's laptop. He has brought my little work hard drive for me and everything else I have asked for. I feel better every time he walks in the room and wish he could be with me 24 hours a day. So weird from ME - who is usually so independent. Suddenly I feel needy and vulnerable and I just want him to hold me and not let go.

I hate being here... and it feels better knowing that so many other ladies here have been at this same place and came out ok on the other side.

I knew about pre-eclampsia and about the risk of being on hospital bed rest, but NOBODY warned me about magnesium sulfate. I had no idea I could ever feel that psychotic, out of control, weak, and weepy. I think I finally understand how people with mental disorders feel - you KNOW logically that you aren't making sense yet can't control anything you feel or think. Man, that is horrible and I don't wish it on ANYONE.

At this point, it is just a waiting game. I am 31w2d (Thursday). Wyatt has had his steroid shots and is hopefully growing big and strong in there. My bp is still high, around 160/100 when I am lying down. They upped my meds hoping to keep it lower. My labs are still ok (haven't gotten any actual numbers but they say that kidney and liver are better today than yesterday).

My MIL just sent out my shower invites a couple days before I was admitted, and now wants to know what I want to do about it. Heck I don't know. They can have it without me, or I may even have a baby by then and the baby will come to the shower!

She also forgot to include the registry info in the invites. Not that I care that much about the STUFF, but since I am in here until Wyatt is born, I won't be able to go shopping for him. We got a carseat and a few outfits and that is it! I guess he'll be sleeping in the sock drawer the first few nights. Hahah.

I am hanging in there. One day at a time. Heck, one moment at a time. Have I mentioned this isn't what my pregnancy was supposed to be like?

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts - it means more than ANYTHING.

Crystal